Martian Customs official: So you are a human? You are the first here. We would like the CV for humanity.
Human: Here you are.
Martian: Right, see that planet on the other side of the universe? Go there.
English, anyone? More money than sense is required to think that space colonisation is the same as planet colonisation.
Clothing sewn by children in a Bangladeshi slum is cheaper too.
justice, what justice?
If they don't send us the cases, we can't make the rulings. - Justice Antonin Gregory Scalia in private conversation with SMA
Meaning: I suck a lot of cock. I don't mind the fancy dress, or the lousy pay, but don't expect me to buck the system just because you believe in fairytale justice.
I: I hate you more than you will ever know.
You: Why are you so angry?
I: Because of you.
You: You should take responsibility.
I: I chose to be conceived in my mother's body. Everything is my responsibility. I became me to spite you. I am doing everything in my power to prevent my daughter hating you as much or more. I don't want revenge for the last two million years. I want to prevent you torturing my family as much or more for the next two million.
Thank you for your service. - Americans to military veterans
Yes, thank you for killing babies.
Utah Democratic gubernatorial candidate (UDGC): I don't know how we solve the problem of more veterans dying of suicide than service related deaths.
SMA: Do you think teaching them thou shall not kill, and then paying them to kill might be the problem?
UDGC: That's the most profound question I've been asked.
Being clever when surrounded by clever people is not difficult. Being clever when surrounded by retards is.