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the shine is off the apple

remora reality distortion

truth & transparency

I am a fan of Steve Jobs, my biological half-uncle. I am also a fan of debunking mythology, particularly my family's. The reality distortion field is a well worn concept, but the truth, as usual, is pedestrian.

Omne ignotum pro magnifico: everything unknown is taken as grand. The unknown tends to be exaggerated in importance or difficulty. - SheerLuck Homes

Mr. Jobs had remarkable ideas, but credit often devolves to undeserving Identities.

To illustrate the lack of distortion: huge deadline looming. Apple personnel cannot possibly get the job done. But they do. Again. Kudos to the Apple team, and most of all, Steven Paul Jobs, their inspiring orator.

Reality check: rewind: Steve Jobs names a deadline. Deadline discovered to be impossible to meet. Enter the Jobs Biological Father Network (JBFN). JBFN provides Jobs a computer file. Jobs logs into the Apple network as one or more of the programmers on the team assigned to the surely impossible deadline. Jobs copies and pastes programming code into project. Deadline miraculously met.

Substitute programming code for media exposure, hardware, financing, etc. & repeat.

Walter, fetch!

I wonder why Mr. Isaacson didn't investigate?

One might think I sound envious. If so, you have only scratched the surface. While Ocham's razor is often useful in logic exercises, in my experience the easy answer is usually wrong and serves the simpleminded.  I am no more envious of Uncle Steve than any soul selected by the gutless, cowardly commoners taking a step back.

The Greeks, that is to say, are on man's side, both in sympathy and in loyalty; the Hebrews, on the contrary, on God's. Never would we have heard from a Greek such words as those of the sorely beaten "blameless and upright" Job, addressed to the god who had "destroyed him without cause" and who then came at him in the whirlwind, boasting of his power.
"Behold," pleaded Job, "I am of small account . . . I know that thou canst do all things . . . I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."
Repent! Repent for what?
In contrast, the great contemporary Greek playwright Aeschylus, of about the same fifth-century date as the anonymous author of the Book of Job, puts into the mouth of his Prometheus--who was also being tormented by a god that could "draw Leviathan out with a fishhook, play with him as with a bird, and fill his skin with harpoons"--the following stunning words: "He is a monster . . . I care less than nothing for Zeus. Let him do as he likes."
And so say we all today with our hearts, though our tongues may have been taught to babble with Job.

Previous versions of 

were shared with prospective counsel via iCloud. Some questions were asked via the great unwashed, and answered via iCloud.

Why are you using iCloud?

  1. The company we are using for the interstellar residential transit technology will not be called iCloud.
  2. Mr. Jobs and my grandfather would understand the horror.
  3. Find facts, flaws, leaks, lies, and omissions.
  4. Family feud
  5. Inside Apple is a reverse poison pill.
  6. Microsoft reborn: all the complete crap which I must conform to because of Mr. Cook's Microsoft methods.
    1. I was walking across that bridge in Winterthur. After I skipped too many songs, you posted: "Only 6 skips allowed per hour" on my iPhone's iTunes. Ha Ha Ha. That was so funny. Stupid fucking CUNTS.
    2. Skyenet: 'We killed my great grandpa, and my great half uncle. Only 9 billion more to go, and only 500 generations left!'
  7. So the retards think this is a dialogue.

What have you learned from MountainMouths?

  1. Courage at a desk in CopperTinO is comfy.
  2. Brad, my father, used to tell a joke about his American football coach asking him what Bradley would do on 4th & goal with ten seconds on the clock. His answer: move further down the bench to watch what happens. None of us are our father's children.
  3. Whether the delivery device is the Enola Gay, or General Electric building a nuclear power plant, some will never get the picture. Big or small.

Does Apple need a new CEO?

I am an Apple stakeholder, not shareholder. Expressing an opinion would be less useful than f__ting in a hurricane. Nonetheless, I think he's done a fine job. I never thought he was keeping the seat warm and I never will. Still, my daughter and he might think otherwise.

Last decade's model wrote

Nevertheless, there is only one person who can lead Apple. That is the person for whom the company was created: me.

The new and improved Mak writes

I'm sorry. I was wrong, brother Tim. I have abused you unjustly. Keep up the good work. Thank you for my watch. Thank you for developing my wireless earbuds idea. Stay well my friend.

If you had a seat on the Board, what would you do?

  1. Focus the market. The customer does not know what she wants. Apple is here for people who:
    1. were here.
    2. are yet to be here.
    3. never should be here. Understanding what the American suburban wants was JBFN's forte. Understanding what the mutants who might return from space colonisation should not become might be one of mine.
  2. Stop and prevent the typical Western management style which is a product cycle ahead of the East, and a millennia behind.
  3. Conventional Japanese wisdom suggests to not have an idea for the first year. I am less conventional and more Japanese.
    1. Learn.
    2. Find out what Apple is not doing, and why.
    3. Find out what Apple could do, and why not.
  4. Empower women.
  5. Move the Apple power base out of SillyCon Valley.
  6. Find out what half of his income Mr. Cook intends to give to philanthropy, and use that on regressive policies to end economic slavery.
  7. Try to learn why people always underestimate the complexity of the problem.

Why is philanthropy bulls&%t?

Charities exist to:

  1. unsuccessfully exonerate guilt
  2. pay salaries of people who work in the charity
  3. perpetuate the problem the charity is allegedly solving
  4. make Madison Avenue rich
  5. foster the military industrial complex.

Are you fond of following Mr. Jobs?

Messrs Cook & Jobs have been stealing our line's IP for centuries. Some, like the Swiss, use our family's logo on their flag while awaiting the next crucification. Some just slap a logo on my playbook and sell more.

I would not be where I am without them. I am grateful, and I don't think Mr. Cook is capable of ever doing something that will undermine all he has already done for me.

What is the Google/Microsoft startup business model?

  1. Build complete crap. 
  2. Persuade people they need it
  3. Give them no choice.
  4. Sell out your founding share.
  5. Kill more Arabs.

Do you think this is something Apple wants to explore further?

  1. Apple has complete access to every cursor movement, swipe, and key stroke I make.
    1. Long before I go into any Apple facility, Apple knows I will be there because I use an iPhone. 
    2. I drafted a memo for prospective counsel on my desktop Pro in Pages.
    3. Mike, the manager of the Omotesando store, formerly the manager of the Ginza store, knows me by name, face and reputation.
    4. Almost two years ago, Mike refused to accept my hand delivery of a letter which I had delivered by courier. 
    5. There are two Apple OSs:
    6. McIntire OS: which varies according to Apple's detection of a potentially discordant thought. 
      1. OS
      2. Additional illustrations appear in my autobiography.
    7. When consulting with Apple personnel, past experience has taught me to open with: I'm Mr. Jobs biological half nephew. Do not f%$k this up.
    8. I wanted to telephone the CEO today. The Minions led me to believe Apple prefers an intermediary. 
  2. Someone who believes in coincidence told me his firm could not help me because the widow of Mr. Jobs conflicted his firm out.
  3. I have spoken with people who Mr. Cook has sent to help me. Trash would be a generous description.
    1. & this guy whose father also suffered through a dogmatic atheist father.
    2. Close ups can get rough.
    3. Have I answered the question?

Why do you promote Apple?

Do you think my computers work if I don't?

There's a lock on my cupboard door,
That I can only reach once inside,
And I often sit and wonder who designed,
Such a perfect place for me to hide

It's just my name,
It's just my skin,
Holding a boulder,
Can you swim?
Oh as we fall,
Through the water,
You find a piece within,
And you know it's just your skin

Well I was never lonely ‘till the day that I was born,
Since that day I masquerade in a skin that I have worn,
With at least three separate individual minds,
When long John returns he'll give a scream,
and what he finds

Is just my name,
Is just my skin,
Holding a boulder,
Can you swim?
Oh as we fall,
Through the water,
You find a piece within,
And you know it's just your

Black dog, black dog, that I'll never know,
Oh black dog haunts you mind, your world, your soul,
Oh black dog, black dog, can't you see I am fine?
Oh black dog, black dog, you're no plague of mine.

It's just my name,
It's just my skin,
Holding a boulder,
Can you swim?
It's just my name,
Oh, it's just my skin,
Holding a boulder,
Can you swim?
Oh as we fall,
Through the water,
You find a piece within,
And you know it's just your skin. 

- George Ezra

 

oops, lost again

AT&T made a fatal flaw

This is scripted, business or computer incompetence, or falsehood perpetuation. Did IBM make a fatal flaw when giving DOS to Mr. Gates?

Our logo was:

He's got the whole world in his hands.

[shit eating grin]

Looks similar to the grin his half-brother learned too well.

the poor cousin, the ne'er do well, the black sheep

You weren't here for rehearsal, were you?

- Bradley Moore Allen

My father would often say this instead of: I went over this repeatedly, and once again, you are unable to follow a simple plan. Do you think if I strangle you the next person will do better?